Was Finding You Easy?

I met someone online nine days ago, a stranger whom I’ve never seen, someone from a different continent, someone whose voice has been inspiring the nanoseconds of my life. My first chat went for six hours of the night and since that day it has become a night ritual to me. Everything sounds to be good to be true. However, I have been aware of the repercussions in the past as – how an excess of anything can be toxic in this world?

Gradually after two nights of long chats on Kik, he asked me for my mobile number. I was confused because he was someone whom I’ve met online and don’t know whether he is a stalker, a psychopath and whatever criminal terms that came into my mind. On the contrary, he came as a fresh breath of air in my life. He is a feeling of a fresh bud of flower in autumn which is not less than a miracle. He talks and talks, cares and cares a lot, respects me and my sentiments. Sometimes, I feel lucky to meet him but his presence somehow scares me too. Gradually, I am having a mixed bag of emotions for him. I haven’t been able to vocal to him about it, as of yet.

I can see myself emotionally invested, once again. Not fully, but to some extent. I like him. Is it funny to start liking someone in just nine days? Maybe, I am being immature, but sometimes I feel it is better to go with the flow of the sea of life instead of waiting on the shore and watching others riding their waves with ups and downs.

My life has been a product of my faults and due to of my bad decisions, but whatever it is today, I am the only one to be blamed for, no one else. If I sit and ponder constantly, what if I am making another mistake of my life, I will never get to know the other side of the door. I want to explore the other side of the door, I just don’t want to have a peek, I actually desire to immerse myself in that particular scintilla. A different light that may give me a new perspective towards life. Until and unless, I make an attempt, I wouldn’t be able to make my life interesting and the graph would be stuck to a straight line because I never had the courage to jump off the cliff to see the beauty of what it has to offer.

I am somehow has been always a risk taker, I won’t call myself a superbly brave woman but have always had the ability to take that one step further.

I don’t know how long will this intense connection will continue since we both like each other but there is no scope of even dating each other. Can I call it being a virtual girlfriend or a virtual live -in? Because he keeps me on skype and keeps sending me photos so that I am always part of his real world (which I am not techncally). This entire thing appears new to me but whatever it is I am loving each moment to the fullest. After all, you live only once and I don’t know what life has for me, so simply living it up until it lasts.