I am not sleepy, I have watched two movies back to back and as of now I am plugged to the music and writing this post. You know why? Because I’ve given up. I am tired of fighting this battle to doze off. I try so hard that I just close my eyes for hours to get some sleep, but unfortunately my brain cells charge up (as if they have smelled coffee beans) leading to over thinking.
With the hours of waiting for the sun to rise, I don’t feel like an owl. At this moment, I am so much surrendered to my emotions right now, I feel I could have a therapist right now,and I would’ve vented it out all to her. It would have been a good utilization of their exorbitant fee, of what they charge.
I don’t know what’s wrong with me, why can’t I slumber just like everyone? I need a solution to it, badly. I have been experimental and open to all methods and techniques but none has worked out. I am going through a divorce process, maybe that has affected my sleep but, the stress is working like caffeine to my body which keeps my body awake. I would have earned a good salary in a call center if I would’ve been working since I don’t sleep; day and night shift, both.
I have tried frankincense oil, jasmine aroma oil, massages, yoga, etc. but unfortunately, nothing is working out for me. I don’t know why. I feel sleep has become a visitor. Though, I don’t mind it as an uninvited guest either, because I am desperate to go the slumberland. I so envy everyone around me who are snoring.
Why am I so different from others? Why didn’t i get a normal life?